The 2nd edition of our annual blog is back for the first time since 2016. We polled 4,2069 people to come up with this list, so if you’re offended, or if you disagree, write your senator. They’re not doing much of anything, so I’m sure they’ll have time to listen to your complaints. Let’s stop wasting time and just get to the magic.

Ghostface

This is a classic. It’s not my favorite, but it’s a safe choice, very similar to Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels might actually be more scary based on the fact that it will actually kill you, unlike the guy who hasn’t gotten a new costume in 20 years.

Hasbulla

Hasbulla is so hot right now. So hot. If you show up with this costume, you better be ready to fight or fuck, or both. This costume can easily be mistaken for Cotton Hill, but don’t make the mistake of Hasbulla for that shinless old man. Unlike Cotton Hill, Hasbulla has some bite to back up his bark. I would also be extremely concerned about the mental state of anyone who dressed like this, so I would avoid them at all costs.

COVID Vaccine

Toss on a Corona bottle costume and throw limes at people as you pour tequila down their throats. Live a little. COVID is dead, we can laugh at it.

Politically Themed Costumes

This one showed up on our inaugural list in 2016. It’s kinda telling how it’s still here. People still treat political parties like sports teams. Trying to have a rational conversation about politics in 2022 is like trying to talk to someone about Michigan or Michigan state athletics who didn’t go to the school but bases their happiness on the success of a bunch of 20 year olds. Banging your head against a wall would be a better use of your time. Let’s dive into this year’s choices!

“How could you vote Republican? You must be a racist!”

“How could you vote Democrat? You must be communist!”

You can’t go wrong with either option. Both will have your friends wishing they didn’t tell you about the party by 10pm.

LinkedIn Influencer

Toss a sport coat over that graphic tee and pair it with some jeans and fresh sneakers because you aren’t like those stuffy business people out there. You’re an entrepreneur! You’re fresh! You’re trendy! Make sure to listen to your favorite Gary Vee youtube clips, podcasts, or audiobooks (let’s not pretend that you know how to read the actual books) and memorize a few buzzwords to throw out at the party. People will love your unsolicited financial advice (that you say is not financial advice just in case you’re wrong) and hearing about how hard you #grind

finally, my personal favorite….

Coach

A pedophile coach is always a hot take costume. Really gets people upset, but is guaranteed to make me laugh! Jerry Sandusky was a great choice a few years ago and it never fails to disappoint.