“What a time…to be alive.” – Drake
Drake doesn’t miss when it comes to his lyrics. He was spot on when he (or an alleged ghost writer…jk RIP MEEK MILL) penned that line. What a time to be alive, indeed. These next few weeks are the stuff dreams are made of. For most folks, Christmas and New Years are enough to make their year. I’m lucky enough to have my birthday thrown in the mix so it just takes things to another level. Throw a Santa crawl, bowl season, and holiday parties, and I’m not sure I’ll make it to see January 2nd.
It was a good ride though, I hope you all enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed yours. JK, after the rally I pulled of last year at the Michigan/Penn State game, I’m convinced that I’m invincible. It was the kind of stuff that Oscar winning movies are based on.
Ok, back on track. A quick rundown of my favorite holiday what-have-yous:
Family Christmas Dinner
If your family is anything like mine, you love this shit. I’m so sorry if your family doesn’t like to drink or everyone hates each other. Really sad stuff. Nothing better than sitting around eating hilarious amounts of food, drinking yourself into a stupor, then playing a board game while watching a Christmas classic on TV. Love it. Gets me fired up.
Ugly Sweater Parties
Now this is a classic. Just a good old time with your friends. Nothing like throwing on a sweater you found at Kmart (that was probably made for a woman) and drinking until you can’t walk. Really sets the tone for the holiday debauchery. I honestly love the people who come out with some kind of retro sweater that their uncle had in his closet from 1985. Like you know he was wearing it and thought it was badass 30 years ago and now you’re wearing it as a joke. Total burn.
Participating in one of these this weekend. Can’t wait. I feel like I heard about someone robbing a bank during NYC’s Santacon last year. Absolutely brilliant strategy. I’m sure they got caught, but seriously brilliant. Anyways, 60 degrees in December is perfect for this activity. I would’ve been so pissed if I had to walk around in snow. I mean my liquor sweater will be thick, no doubt, but it’s way easier to handle life when it’s not -3 outside with hurricane force winds pounding you in the face.
Company Christmas Party
If all of the holiday themed parties coming up don’t get you excited, you need to check your pulse. I’m not sure anything is better than blacking out with your coworkers and revealing way too much about your personal life. Having the holiday party the day before most people take off for the year makes so much more sense now…gotta give some time for all of those awkward memories to fade to the back of your memory and die.
New Year’s Eve
The granddaddy of them all. Nothing tops this. What’s better than spending a hilarious amount of money on a ticket, hotel room, and tuxedo? Nothing…absolutely nothing. I don’t even know how I made it home last year. I don’t have any recollection of the night after my 10th gin and tonic. I wouldn’t want it to be any different though. My only goal this year is to get as many instagram pics on the big board at the Fillmore as possible. Really trying to outdo my performance last year (I only had 1, piss poor effort on my part).
So, in closing, put on your favorite Santa hat, mix your favorite cocktail, and live the dream. This is a magical time of year, so pull a Houdini and make 10 of your drinks disappear.