Listen up, party people. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably counting the hours until you can escape your job for those precious few days known as the weekend. For some of you, I’m sure those are your favorite days of the week. Please don’t assume that I’m saying you’re wrong. After all, this is America and you’re entitled to your own opinion, but I may disagree. My favorite day of the week is Thursday…let me tell you why.
Thursday offers us hope. It’s the beginning of the decent down the mountain that’s known as the work week. You can see the weekend in the distance. After fighting all week to make it up the mountain, you can finally relax and just take the chair lift down the other side to the promise land known as the weekend.
Thursday brings us a wonderful sense of anticipation. That feeling you get when you start planning your weekend. The joy that comes with knowing that you only have 16 or so more hours left in your cube. The thought of funneling a 12 pack of pops on your way to AA to tailgate the U of M/MSU game. The feeling of being care free for 2+ days. All of this builds up on Thursday. It gets your heart beating a little faster. It adds a pep to your step. It makes you feel like you can take on the world, because in just 2 short days you will be the king of your own destiny. No bosses to report to. No email to check. Just you and whatever makes you feel alive. I wish I could bottle that feeling up, sell it, make a fortune, then invite you all to party with me on a private island. Life would be good.
Finally, the most important thing Thursday offers us, an excuse to drink like it’s Friday and not feel bad about doing so. Thirsty Thursday is probably the best thing ever (aside from the Renshaw Power Hour). I can’t imagine making it through college without Pitcher Night at Waldo’s. The only place insane enough to sell 21 year old kids multiple, full sized, pitchers of Long Island Iced Tea and other mixed drinks (shouts to Jones for ordering Gin and Tonic pitchers…absolute insanity but I respected it). Nothing makes you feel alive like sitting at the office or in a lecture hall with a massive hangover that you’ll drink away as soon as you get out.
As for what I hope for on this fine Thursday:
I hope you wind up face down on a living room floor in a stranger’s house. I hope you take Michigan -7.5 at home. I hope you taste the nectar known as Fireball. I hope you shotgun as many Keystone Lights as possible. I hope you hook up with a random then buy them Denny’s in the morning. I hope you find a $20 bill on the ground a buy a scratch off with it. I hope you go #STR (Straight to Ricks for you basic bitches) and dance your face off. I hope you walk into Menna’s and tell them they are not and never will be Conrad’s. But most of all, I hope you live the dream.
So, my friends, here’s to Thursday, the most underrated day of the week and the unofficial start to the weekend. I hope you all find what you’re looking for this weekend and have a blast doing it. May your spirits be up, your drinks be cold, and your inhibitions gone with the wind.