So let’s travel back in time. I’m talking like just fresh out of high school. Not even close to knowing life.
Location. Middle of nowhere.
So me and a group of friends venture to a woods party . Cut the shit at this point im a sixer in and decide its a good idea to get high with some strangers.
At this time I am REALLY feeling it. Basically like a wizard that could cast spells and turn trees into goblins. Fuckin Merlin ass shit.
Then it hits me. I start tripping my balls off cause I think this is laced or something. Cause I went from Urkel to 2pac real quick. I’m freaking the fuck out in the woods. So back in the corridors of the dark abysmal space of my brain a little sober boy, 7 year old dave shouts to me “skip!”….what? “Skip in the woods and you’ll be ok!” So I listen to little me and start skipping away from the camp fire. Cause that I’ll make it better….
I have to shit now. I figure hey if I shit I’ll be sober or something. Don’t judge me I’m drunk.
So here I go. I decide to take a shit in the woods. I squat down and go. Pull my pants up.
Damnit. I shit right in my own underwear. Really.
So this point I’m in the absolute most lost place I could be in. I ditch my shitty trousers in the woods. Fast forward to me making it back to the fire after a half hour of shit. Literally. We pass out in the car as the night ends. We get up its like 6 am , I’m bright eyed and bushy tailed. We’re driving down the trail and sun is barely up I’m in the back passed out.
“Holy shit what’s that in the tree ?!” ,Shouts a friend.
I look up and there are my shit covers underwear hanging perfectly at the end of the trail on one lone branch.