It’s been a minute since we’ve posted anything. I’ve been recovering from #KCHC2K15 for the better part of this week. Low key almost died on they way back. Shout out to a random McDonald’s on 94 for the Iced Coffee that saved my life. Anyway, let’s get to why we’re all here…arguably the best “holiday” of the year, Halloween.

Halloween is perfect. The weather is usually still decent, it’s still socially acceptable to drink gallons of rum and cider, and binge eating candy is totally OK (I DIDN’T RUIN MY DIET, IT’S ONLY A FUN SIZED PIECE OR TEN!).  Those things combined with the fact that October 31st falls on a Saturday this year is dangerous. This is basically my worst nightmare. I’m not sure I’m going to make it out of this weekend. It’s essentially my Bermuda Triangle…or something, you get the picture. 2 days to dress up like a fool and take red Jell-O shots to the dome is a recipe for disaster.

Now I know what your’e saying, “Mike you drink every weekend anyway, this is nothing new.” To that, I’ll say, you’re not wrong. However, that’s basic shit. This is a chance to be completely anonymous and act like a complete idiot with very few repercussions. On a normal weekend, I’d be worried about people recognizing me if I did something stupid. But no one will ever see Hotline Bling Drake or a bed sheet ghost again, so I’m in the clear. Cue my victory dance:

So ladies, grab your cat costumes, and guys, put on your last second pick up from Spirit City and have yourselves a weekend. Have a few too many pops, Jell-O shots, or spooky cauldron drinks. Dance until you’ve ripped the crotch of your costume. Make out with that random stranger that you think made eye contact with you, but you’re not sure because they could’ve been looking at someone next to you. Who cares what you do, it’s Halloween. There aren’t really any rules (except like actual laws that still apply to you).  Just remember this piece of advice when making decisions this weekend: why not?