1.272%. That’s the chance that the Lions have to make the playoffs this year. Interestingly enough, that’s also the chance that I don’t order a vodka vodka tonight and rip the knob off. But in all seriousness, who the hell is the poor bastard who has to figure that out? Even if it’s a computer program, I feel like it’s a completely wasted resource.

The Lions are going to lose this week because it’s what the Lions do. To quote arguably the best movie ever made (Varsity Blues) “Tweeter drank beers, because, well, Tweeter drinks beer.” Losing is just what the Lions do. Just like drinking beer is in Tweeter’s DNA, losing is in the Lions’ DNA.

To top it all off, it’s supposed to snow this weekend in the great state of Michigan. I mean I guess it was long overdue seeing as how at this point last year we had 7 feet of snow or something (shouts to El Nino). Either way, the thought of having to watch the Lions lose while seeing snow fall absolutely makes me want to crawl into a hole until May.

Here’s to hoping that the Lions somehow pull the greatest upset in the history of sports and make it to the playoffs.

Just kidding, I hope they lose out and get a good draft pick.

Forward down the field!

PS – for your viewing pleasure, I present the new Tweeter endzone dance. Enjoy.