The night before Thanksgiving, aka the biggest bar night of the year, is finally upon us. A time for everyone to make their way home to drink copious amounts of alcohol with the people they’ve been avoiding for the last 12 months. Along with shots, awkward interactions will be plentiful. It doesn’t matter, by the end of your 5 minute conversation that lasts 4.5 minutes too long, you’ll be best friends.

“OMG JANET HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?”

“OH JUST SUPER, SANDY. PAUL IS TAKING ME TO MAUI NEXT MONTH!”

“OH JEEZE THAT’S SPLENDID! WHY DON’T WE EVER TALK ANYMORE? WE USED TO BE BEST BUDS!?”

“OH I’VE BEEN KINDA BUSY, YOU KNOW WORK AND STUFF.”

“OH YEAH MAKES SENSE. WE TOTES NEED TO CATCH UP. I’LL GET IN TOUCH NEXT TIME IM IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS AND WE CAN GET A DRINK! WHERE DO YOU LIVE AGAIN?”

“OH SAME PLACE. THAT SOUNDS PERFECT! PLEASE LET’S MAKE THAT HAPPEN!”

“WILL DO! I’LL TALK TO YOU LATER!”

“K! BYE!”

…Sandy walks off then Janet whispers to Sarah, “I fucking hate that bitch.”

100% positive that conversation takes place at every bar in the world on the Thanksgiving Eve. It’s the lock of the century.

Other than backstabbing bitches, the bar will be filled with all of your childhood friends who have since moved on and done something with their lives. Kinda depressing if you think about it. Like I’m over here getting hammered every night and eating hot pockets while Timmy is a hedge fund manager making bank and driving a Porsche. What the hell am I doing with my life?

Of course you’ll drink too much and sleep in until 12:15. In reality, you aren’t a loser, you just know how to manage your time because you won’t have to deal with a headache from the hangover because you’ll be funneling beers down your throat as the Lions find a way to lose another game. WHO’S THE LOSER NOW, TIMMY!? (Timmy probably isn’t hungover because he has some kind of IV bag hooked into him as soon as he woke up so he can run a 5k and make the entire Thanksgiving Dinner for his family. So you’re still actually the loser, but who really cares?)

So I hope you all have a great night. Be thankful we live in the greatest country in the world and are able to be surrounded by our family and friends during the holiday season. So before you go out tonight, just promise me one thing, that you’ll rip the knob off and do a couple shots for the boys at DM the Details. We’ll do a few for you.

Kisses.

PS -This song is so relevant right now