Things Not As Bad As Moving

I’m not sure there is anything worse than moving. It’s literally the most despicable thing on the planet. There’s nothing more time consuming and absolutely dreadful than having to pack up everything you own, loading it into trucks, moving it a few miles, unloading it into a new place, arranging it,  and repeating that roughly 100 times then having to clean your old place once everything is out. I feel like I’ve been hit by a semi-truck at full speed. I’m not sure how many trips I took this weekend, but it was a lot. I am sure though, that I took at least 10 years off of my life thanks to stress and injuries and then masking those things with alcohol.

When I wasn’t contemplating throwing myself into the gorilla exhibit at the zoo, I thought of a few things I’d enjoy more than moving…enjoy

1.) Catch a flat tire


2.) Have a coach seat on Malaysian Airlines flight 370


3.) Lock myself out of my house


4.) Mistake Clorox for Vodka


5.) Spill red wine on a white shirt


6.) Build a house in Chernobyl in the mid 80’s


7.) Forget my lunch at home


8.) Get invited to John Wayne Gacy’s house


9.) Roll my ankle


10.) Wake up next to a tape recorder and hear “I want to play a game” when I push play.



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